The Balance
So my post earlier today was thoughtful…and because I crave balance I wanted to throw it off with a little humor.
Scene: I was wearing a dress yesterday. I was comfortable. See the pictures over there in the right sidebar…that was me yesterday…there’s even a very embarrassing video that REQUIRES a comment if you watch it because it’s scary and awful and if you’re going to laugh…at least laugh with me.
What I did: I went for a walk up to the top of the hill to get Coffee Creamer from the Dagistino’s. It’s a big hill. When in shape this hill is daunting…when pregnant it’s a force to overcome. So I climb the hill…I get to the top, I’m huffing and puffing, I’m still wearing the dress. I’m aware that I probably look pretty hilarious at that moment. But hell, I don’t know a single person in the area what do I care. So I’m walking in the parking lot and a women that is no closer then 16 cars away from me (which is some distance you’ll agree) SCREAMS to me and I quote “OH MY GOSH, you’re HUGE!!!! When are you due.” I was completely caught off guard….I had a who, me moment because SURLY this women that is so far from me isn’t commenting to ME?!?!?! There isn’t a person alive that is stupid enough to say such a thing to a pregnant lady that clearly just huffed it up a hill. BUT SHE WAS TALKING TO ME. So I restrained myself from slapping her silly and giving her the verbal stripping of a lifetime and I flipped her off. I looked her dead in the eye and flipped her off and turned around into the store.
So if you know a women telling a story of the pregnant women in Cross River giving her the bird and how awful I was….well that was me and I’m proud. I’m so proud I even told my mother about it. And she still loves me. Because mothers have to. And for the love of god. IF YOU SEE ME don’t tell me I’m huge. I’m well aware.
I should mention if she had said this within 3 feet of me, in the grocery store, not after my hike up the hill, after a Diet A&W or after a grapefruit or after a shower that I would have smiled nicely and told her that I would be even huger soon. So I’m not a complete bitch. Just mostly.
Filed under: Pregnancy in Practice | Tagged: Pregnancy
those are great photos. you look fantastic. and not at all huge.
and i still like you too. how could she not expect that outcome?
You are not huge!
And since you were already huffing and puffing, you should have said ‘RIGHT NOW! BUT DON’T TELL MY MAMA!!!! OR BIG DADDY!!’ to the woman and then ran into an alley.
Ha!!! She got what she deserved
Very nice photos over on the right there.
BTW, assuming I ever update my blogroll, can I add you to it?
Ah HAHAHAHAHAhahaha!! That is awesome. That falls under the category of “looking back, I wish I had done that.” Good for you for having the guts to do it. People are so insensitive!
ROFL is it bad that this is rude and extremely funny at the same time?
I never know how to respond to ANY comments about the belly. Today within a course of ten minutes I went from hearing about how small I was for 6 months and how I’m going to have a tiny baby to a different person telling me I looked as big as another pregnant woman in the office (who happens to be TWO MONTHS ahead of me)!
Why is this something people even feel the needs to comment on at all? Can’t they just SHUT. UP!?
Good for you for flipping her off. I might not have thought that fast.
in a couple weeks you’ll have my sleigh dog to pull you up that hill!!! he’s good for that…i have video of him pulling the baby’s buggy up the hill on one of our walks so I wouldn’t have to push it up the hill!!!
Too funny. Some people are so incredibly clueless. Kudos to you for doing what I would think of doing, but never actually do.
HAHAHA! You just got the award for most awesome move of the week.
That is, hands down, the best story I have heard in a very long time . . . thank you for the laugh!
(And thank you for your kind comments to me in the last two weeks - I cannot imagine that in your ‘position’ my story has been easy to read, and I am beyond grateful for your unselfless act of commenting!)
I can’t believe someone could have so little class. Her, not you! You did the only right thing. Body checking her wouldn’t have been right. Slapping her, too, not right. At least that’s what I tell my 9yo.