Fresh cut grass

I love the smell of fresh cut grass…and it happens to be the aroma filling my house right now.  Don’t you just love Spring?

After a tough day yesterday, that was littered with “Why Bother” moments and about 7 incidents of bursting into tears, I was crying myself to sleep because the day had beat me and I made a decision.   My life is not so bad, my hormones are running shotgun on my behavior and clearly my life was calling for some change.  Tomorrow will be better I said aloud and I drifted off to sleep.

So I’ve named today Changing for Tuesday – the following things have been decided:

1. I’m going to move my office to my house – I’ve been traveling about 30 minutes each way to my office 4 days a week…most of those days the FH and I car pool.  There was a long time that I really enjoyed this arrangement but that time has passed.  I dread going down to work everyday – I dread the traffic, the constant fight it is with the FH to come home at the end of the day, I’m really uncomfortable in the car for more then 24 minutes at a time and with it being spring I’m really enjoying being home.  During the winter it’s difficult to stay home, I get all itchy and sick of it but the windows are open, the wireless extends out to the deck and I’m much more productive at home.  Did I mention I’m really comfortable.  I am, so I’m only going to be working from down there on occassion when I need to, like when I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning or I need to meet Pocklock for lunch.
2. While Pecan Whole Wheat Sweet Rolls are a great treat and by far the yummiest thing I’ve ever made – they don’t have a place at the breakfast table every morning.  The sugar crash is so severe it most certainly impacted my day yesterday.  I started today with scrambled eggs, a piece of Whole Wheat Toast with PB and some Strawberries and then some grapefruit and I think it’s made a good change to my outlook.
3. I’m going to set aside 15 minutes each week to freak out about money.  I’m going to allow myself this 15 minute window to really freak out and then I’m going to not freak out about it the rest of the week.  Money is stressful and I just don’t need the stress.
4. I’m going to start working out everyday or going for a long walk.  I know that I’m going to get bigger and that’s been kind of a bummer lately….the belly is big, which is good but I don’t really like the feeling that EVERYTHING is bigger.  It’s so cheesy but those chickadees of Yoga Booty Ballet really make me smile so I’m going to do it.  The pregnancy videos i bought are going up on amazon to sell…they really piss me off.  They’re all happy and it’s all this Breath around your baby and stretch to make room for your baby and this is so good for your baby.  I’m selfish…I want to do the workout for me.  And I love my baby, I didn’t even know I could love someone that I’ve never met this much but I’m not really feeling the working out for my baby with cracked out Denise Austin thing.  I thought I would but I don’t.
5. All the fitness magazines I subscribe to go directly from the mailbox to the after baby is born box.  The complete drain it is to see women in bikini tops on the cover of Women’s Health is enough to throw me into a box of Thin Mints – so I’m not even going to open them, read the cover, admire her small rack (yeah, it’s come to that) until after Lexi is here and I can once again have a dream for my body outside of “survival” and a day without heartburn.
6. I’m going to only work for 8 (okay, sometimes 10) hours a day….as a “contracted’ worker I should bill for my actual hours worked…but I don’t.  Because I feel lucky to have the job that I have and work with the people I work with.  This is all well and good but to put in 12 hour days and to work for 10 hours on the weekend is not really doing me any good personally – I need to allow myself the full recharge….I’m like the laptop that never gets to full charge.   So  we’re changing that.
7. If the FH wants my help with his business, which I recognize that he will, he needs to request my time in 30 minute increments.  I will not be helping him do stuff from 9-11pm because he couldn’t get himself home before 8pm.  And I’m no longer packing for him.  I’ll sit with him while he packs to keep him company, but I’m not going to do it anymore…he didn’t have a full scale deodorant freakout this trip but he mentioned on three occasions now that I failed to pack him a razor and visine.  Congratulations FH, you just won yourself a lifetime of being an adult…pack your own damn bag.

I’m sure there will be more but this is what I’ve got and as small and rediculous as this may sound I’m feeling more remarkable.